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While you are single...

"I want a man who is driving. He has to have a lot of money. He must have a nice house and a good job...!"(read in Slayqueesha's voice and put on an accent😂)
"Nataka dame m-lightskin. Sitaki dame hajui kuvaa. Dame lazima akue amebeba. Kitu safi..." (read in Brayo's voice....sorry if your name is Brian😉) 
This is the song of most millennials and centennials. Dating in the 21st century is an extreme sport. Seems like dating requirements are dwindled down to your level of attractiveness or how deep your pockets are. I'm sure you've heard that you (men) could be considered physically un-attractive but if you have money, you automatically become the most handsome man in the world😂. For us girls, our worth is reduced to the color of our skin and the size of our body extensions😒. 
Very few people want or have the desire to want to know others for exactly who they are. Our need for self gratification is worsening by the day and we want what we want exactly…

Dear Younger Me...

Dear Beautiful girl,

I call you beautiful because that is not a word you would use to describe yourself. There is a little girl who will walk up-to you on your 23rd Birthday at Big Square and tell you that you are beautiful. There is a stranger who will leave you a note in the library telling you that you are beautiful. You will one day truly believe that you are beautiful. Stop hiding that smile because you think your dentition is crooked. Let them mock you for it but don't take it to heart. Yes, you are a bit chubby now but over time you will blossom into a very fine young woman - curves and all😍💃 You are not your body weight. Those boys making fun of you in school and calling you 'kanono' will one day hit your Social media DM's confessing their undying love😝😒. 

Keep off all those Mexican Soap Operas because in real life William Levy is married (And not to Maria😲) so he cannot marry you (sorry girl😭) You will know all the details when you get the internet. Those …

What I'm Learning From Quitting Social Media

I was lying on my bed one night feeling very fatigued. My head was aching, my back was in pain and my eyes were tired. I had spent all day on Instagram and Facebook and looking out for notifications from WhatsApp. Three weeks before this day, Someone had sent me my picture that had been posted on a famous Facebook group so I was curious to read the comments and to know why my picture was there (😂aki I was excited lol...cheap thrills). 
          The group membership is closed, so I sent a request to join and unknown to me that was the beginning of very late nights and tired mornings. I did find my picture but it was just someone who wanted to know where they could get their hair done like mine (😂which is literally just visitingthe barber). The Facebook group is an arena for all sorts of gossip and stories with a whooping 300,000 membership count (I know you've already filled the blanks😝). I remember reading the stories there and getting shocked to my stomach because t…

Stay Woke or get Played!

Eeny, meeny, miny, moe💃 Up and About and Round they go💃 Yappity yap they have a go💃 At the tree they were told to let go💃 Now they have no place to go💃 Eeny, meeny, miny, moe!💃           Honey, I can rhyme! 😎 Say whaaat? I'm already thinking about launching my rap career because I changed the words of a nursery rhyme😄. I could go platinum with this ( Bigger than Cardi B🙊 ). Maybe I overthink everything(Which I do😐).  Back to earth now. So Up and about Adam and Eve go. Naked. Un-ashamed. Just flaunting what God gave them and since they didn't have any human friends they probably had this dance parties with the wild animals💃. Some really wild parties (Don't let this pun pass you by😉). Don't ask me about the music😄. If you've watched Penguins of Madagascar, then the parties King Julian has are the only thing that comes to mind😧. Who gives King Julian references and quotes nursery rhymes on a deep post?😦 (Only you weirdo...not you reading this..me writing this…

Oops! I'm Too messed up!

Dear Abba, My Faithful God;

You said, "Go and sin no more!" Though my eyes could not meet Yours because of the shame that crippled me🙍. I started running the third time the cock crowed in denial of you yet You looked at me and said I was fit to be the rock upon which you would build your church😧. You threw a party just for me though I squandered everything😣. Swallowed by the sea to flee from You Yet you still wanted me to be your mouthpiece😲. You knew my history yet you still asked me for a drink from the well😭. Sold You for a little silver and a kiss yet even for me, you endured the cross😯. Killed a man to love his woman but you still looked at me and said I was a man after your own heart😧. How was it possible that losers like us would be the very people you chose to follow you and to spread your word?😕 I'd like to look in the mirror without hiding my eyes and I'd like to see what you see and why you think I am qualified? 🙇Why do fiery branches speak my nam…