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No to the return of The Toxic Ex-lover!

              Pick up lines💭 Sigh! Boy oh boy!😃  I'm I the only one who receives very corny pick up lines? Like super corny I get hungry just thinking about it (see what I did there?😉) Once, a guy told me he thought I was so pretty I could make water come out of fossils👷. My oh wamae! Who even says that? 😒Can fossils and pretty co-exist in the same sentence, get married and live happily ever after? 💑❔The last time I heard about fossils was in History class when I was cramming that topic of Zinjanthropus and homo rhodensiensis (I'm not even sure that is academically correct but it makes me look like I earned that A in History KCSE👀...Heey Mr.Maido👋👋). Then someone reminds me of that horror experience through a pick up line? 😠There's another breed of homo sapiens sapiens(sorry I just had to do that😂😃) that somehow forgets most of the alphabets so their typical pick up line looks something like this (good luck decoding it)...''U R xo Dem kyute Jry. Luv ua buriful emeral eyez mxupa. Tel mi r u tken gyal? Az in du yu hve sme1?'' 😭😭 (unfortunately, these blogger emojis don't include a policeman to arrest that language offender so we just stare👀.....there you go💃 Wait...I found Him👮)

          My worst pick up line will have to be..."You look familiar. Have I seen you somewhere?"😕 Jeez! I've had about enough with this one. Some people seem to have known me from somewhere I know nothing about😣. I'm not even that well traveled and someone will tell me they saw me somewhere in syokimau😓. Where I come from, it's something like this... "Wewe si Mary wa akina Maiko wa kiamaiko?" 😩(Are you not Mary, Michael's relative from Kiamaiko?) Then proceeds with..."Basi nimekuconfuse. Pole sana. Si unaezanipea number basi tujuane? Maybe mko related na huyo Maiko na haujui." 😦(Maybe, I confused you with someone else. Can you give me your number? maybe you're related to Michael and you don't know) At this point of the conversation, I'm just thinking about honey glazed chicken because clearly I'm not Mary...Shalom and Mary don't even like each other as names. The worst part is this..."Uko sure haunijui? Haunikumbuki mresh?" (Are you sure you don't remember me?)  Bruuh!😭😦Just have some of the chicken I'm having in my head right now and take a chill pill because we don't know each other from Adam😒...not even from Donald Trump(I dunno why I just said that😐😯). How far will a brother go to get a number though?😝😮

             Then, There's another batch that is my focus today (I got so many stories...Yikes woman!😮). The type that texts you something like this or something close👌...''Hey beautiful/hottie/hunk. Nice Profile picture. Are you around we hang out?''😉 ''Hey babe, you look haaat in those jeans🔥. I wanna call the firemen to extinguish the fire🌊. Can we hook up sometime?🙋 It's been long since I saw you.😍"  This one is not a stranger. This one you've got history with.You've probably not saved their contact but you know the number too well for your own good😄. The message comes in like one year later after you guys ended things and now you're looking all fly and somehow the lighting was proper in that picture, your smile is just right..not too wide..not smirky...just cute enough to confuse a brother/sister🙌.

           It's been a while and you've been single and lonely and you need you a boo since everybody else got one and well, there are no prospects of anyone asking you out or accepting to go out with you(Do we cry or laugh here? Both i guess😂😭). So you start thinking...''Is this you Jesus? 😍I knew you wanted this man/girl for me that's why you brought him/her back!"😎 "Maybe my standards were too high the last time"😧 "Maybe they've changed"😮 "Maybe they'll commit this time"😔 "Maybe I was wrong about this person"😐 ''It's true what they say after all, that if you lost someone and they come back to you then they are yours to keep"💑....blah blah blah😒(I need an ice cream break here🍨No judging👀). And you reply back and they fill you with sweet empty nothings coated in honey. Y'all talk about your lives and you start to soften up and before you know it you pick up from where you left. It is here where you misuse emojis you don't even need😆😝(Btw, how cool are the new whatsapp emojis? Sorry, I know I may need help💁) Because you've known this person before, there's no need to go through why you left him/her. Before long, you go back to the same rut you were in together dealing with the same things and having the same fights and you break up again because nothing changed, just the couple of smooth words that got you back together.  Some of us have gone through hell in the form of name calling, abuse and cheating from our partners but have still taken them back in the name of love. Know anyone?👀

 So what's the basic truth about toxic Relationships?
            ⇉They drain the life and energy out of you
           We often give toxic people the right and power to hurt us so badly and when they do we make excuses for them. We justify there misconduct yet they are driving us crazy. They feel entitled to us since we keep giving them the power each time they come back to us. Often, y'all will be talking about his/her dreams and never your own. It's about how they feel and your opinion is not needed in the conversations. 

           I once dated someone who gave me sleepless nights and not because of love but because He treated me like an option. So I was up all night wondering if he truly loved me or not and why his actions didn't prove anything and why he never said clear things to me. I remember once I had traveled all the way from Mombasa to Nairobi to meet Him since we had scheduled a date after months of not talking to each other so when I got to town I called him and he bluntly told me he had gotten more important things to do earlier and that it was my fault since I hadn't seen his whatsapp message to notify me he wouldn't make it. Right there at archives, I wanted to just sit down and cry my eyes out after all that sacrifice. But I had taken him back knowing that he was the kind of person whose words did not match his actions. He had stood me up many times before and I thought this grand sacrifice would be the charm so why was I surprised?  And also, there was no message to notify me of anything.

Breaking free is hard sometimes but it's necessary. Here's what I learned

1. God is not the author of confusion but of peace and sound mind.
1 Corinthians 14:33 For God is not the author of confusion but of peace.
            Everything that God made was in order all the way from creation and his plans are always as he ordained even before creation. He is not behind your ex's indecision to commit to you. He is not in support of anyone playing with your heart because they won't commit. His message is clear as day and so are the things from him. We're not existing by chance but through the direct intention of the creator and that should also be reflected in our relationships. God doesn't build something and then goes back to himself and retract.

              God is too big for error and everything He makes is good.. If someone loves you then they will be intentional about you because they are looking into loving you like Christ loves the church. They don't have time to take you round in circles because they're busy loving you in obedience to Jesus. Refuse to make time for someone whose actions and words lead you into questioning who you are...especially who you are as a christian. God made us so simple but we complicate ourselves. We should never have to get to the place where we're wondering whether to fight for the relationship in the face of sin, sleepless nights, abuse or emotional fatigue. Why would a loving Heavenly loving father take you through all that with a person with whom He purposely designed for you? When chaos makes home in your heart, you will lose your identity and settle for less.

2. Not everything is joined of God
Mark 10:9 Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.
This is one of the most powerful verses I know but human beings are in the business of misusing it to fit their preferences. Honey, We join relationships and force them into existence and then fix God in there to bless them. He is not the genesis, we are... so if He Doesn't join it He is under no obligation to keep it together. Then we get mad when he tries to break us off or when He doesn't seem to blessing our relationships. We did not go to Him to ask Him if It was his will because we knew His will already from all the previous experiences and we don't like it so we just pretend we don't know it. 

See the guy I was telling you about, God had told me right from the start that He wasn't it but hey I was lonely and He was cute and through out the 'relationship' I was given so many pointers and warnings but I did not listen until I got to the end of myself. God will not bless our sin because most of the time sin binds us to these people...Carnality keeps us there. There's something about them that does not agree with God but we don't mind. God is not to be mocked therefore we cannot blame Him for some of the dysfunction in our lives that is a result of our rebellion towards His will. You cannot cover up sin and present it before God for Him to bless. Whatever God joins, He will keep together because He is a covenant keeper.

3. Going back to what God has saved you from, will only make you more miserable.
1 Peter 1:14 Be Obedient to God and do not allow your lives to be shaped by those desires you had while you were still ignorant.
              Baby, Don't go back to the same pits God picked you up from. Don't take back the same people that led you to sin and made you feel miserable about yourself. It's not worth the tears and the effort. If you're aware of the dangers and misery of going back to Egypt, you will praise the Lord in the wilderness because you've seen God make a highway in the ocean for you. But ignorance is bliss and ignorant is who we were before Christ. True obedience to His voice will convict us of sin and make us more conscious of our not going back to Egypt. Not selective obedience but total obedience. Our lives cannot be shaped by misery. We must not agree to it when we serve A living Powerful God who changes our rejection into re-direction. I've been rejected before and because I wanted to prove something to myself, I Kept going back where I wasn't wanted or needed and this only brought pain. Canaan is a beautiful land but we will not get there if we keep thinking about the little false benefits of Egypt.

4. Jesus came that you should have life and have it in abundance.
John 10:10 The thief  comes only in order to steal, kill and destroy. I have come in order that you might have life and have it in abundance.
             Honey, We can't waste a good resurrection that was a fulfillment of the promise of God by giving the enemy a chance with our hearts. What the devil builds on is loopholes. Very small openings. He is not waiting on the people who don't believe in Jesus and have opened doors for him...He is preying on us who love Jesus and live for him. A loop hole may be as simple as taking back the mess God already took away from you. It may be us encouraging the toxicity that was once choking us. Some of the relationships we fall back to leave us worse than we were before.

Matthew 12:45 : Then it goes and takes with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that person is worse than the first. That is how it will be with this wicked generation." I don't know about you but I ain't messing with no demons lest I get seven more. I've been there and the bible is truth. Sometimes We don't backslide because we got tired of God but because we took some people back into our lives that corrupted our beliefs and everything we were working on. Salvation is not an easy thing to live out in a crazy world and if we're not rooted directly to the source, we can easily lose it. We are not in environments that encourage living in righteousness and holiness and something as simple as a relationship with the wrong person can eat away our salvation. The enemy will bring false joy and then steal it. For some of us, It doesn't take a legion of demons to get to us and attack our salvation, It just takes one man or one girl that we used to groove with and baaam! The devil gets us and kills and destroys our salvation!

BUT JESUS! OH HONEY BUT JESUS! His is abundance. Not just life, but a full life. We're not saved to be eating leftovers with pigs like we used to before Him. He came and died that we the prodigals eat at the table with Him as our king. His body was the greatest feast that we may never look for crumbs of bread from the world. So, I say no to sin, no to living in sin and no to anything that looks like sin in the form of  toxic relationships.

 It used to be so easy to give up my Jesus for a boy because of the false joy of the enemy until I fully understood what it means to have Jesus in the throne room of my heart, boy or no boy. I will not give up my right to eternity for any mortal that slowly steals away the peace and  joy of communion with the Lord. Abundance for me is not just a boy who truly loves me but one who's mindset is heaven bound and whose love takes me back to the cross. Abundance is not a bunch of stuff I can acquire on earth, it's the overwhelming happiness that comes with realizing Jesus knows my name and notices me and He's coming back for me. And if I was worth the sacrifice of the cross then it's only natural that I ride in the abundance of heavenly gifts including a heavenly made relationship that is not in form of half heartedness, kindas and maybes, whatchu doing tonight, I sorta love you, I think we should date, Can you come over, I miss what we used to have....Heck nah boo boo! Those are pits! Abysses!
5. You will heal from the brokenness eventually but don't give up on the process
Philippians 1:6 Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ.
Healing from toxicity and broken relationships is hard. No lie! Especially when you're rejected, you keep on wondering what you never had that they wanted. It's even harder when they come back and they're not sure whether they still want you or not. Human beings are selfish in nature and people will come back to you when they need you. Maybe the person they left you for broke their heart and they remembered you'd make a good rebound. Maybe they get lonely and realize you always take them back. It's in those moments of weakness that we shouldn't give in to our feelings and flesh. How? Shut the freaking door of communication. Cut contact if you gotta. Mark 9:43 If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It's better to enter eternal life with only one hand than to go into the unquenchable fires of hell with two hands.

The Leniency with which we sometimes take our destinies will cost us greatly. If God cuts certain people off from your life, don't go looking for them because they don't fit into the picture of where God is taking you. Our stupid feelings lie to us...We need vigilance when dealing with our purpose in life. We can't take everybody with us.  You sure don't need the little boyfriend or girlfriend that keeps staining the white gown Jesus has put on you. They just over there applying mud and grease on what has been washed white as snow and we let them. Ah! Ah! Not anymore. 

The Faithfulness of God is unmatched in each and every single thing. He is faithful enough to take you to the place of complete healing from heartbreaks and complete salvation from soul ties. Just don't give up and don't give in. Our God is a promise keeper and for the promise He makes, He adds His vow (Hebrews 6:17) meaning His NAME is on every Thing He says He will do. That includes taking care of you and giving you a good steward of your heart here on earth. Eventually, you will be happy again. Eventually, you will heal. Eventually, you will love again. But No to the shortcuts of the enemy. We're not born for left overs and half the bread. We're not adopted into a family of saints to live half any life. We're not saved by grace to keep on excusing sin. The process may be hard baby, trust me I know, BUT It's in those moments where Jesus will renew our strength to keep on trusting Him for the best in relationships.

I love you like crazy so you can imagine how much more Jesus loves you. I'm only an email away if you ever need anyone to talk to, give your life to Jesus, have a prayer request, have a question or need a friend ⇛ Love and Love. Njeri.
Keep Smiling. You matter to Jesus and to me. 
Be Bold. Be you. Be Dauntless.
No looking Back By Damita Haddon💕💕


  1. Mmmh...Mr Maido😘😘 A was garanted to most of your inspiration words..u gonna have to try and write a book or something 😜😜😛😉...God bless you

    1. Hahaha I wonder if Mr. Maido will ever read this. Thank you so much for reading dearie. And I will seriously start considering writing a book. More blessings to you😘😘😘😘

  2. Wow wow wow... That is one inspiring piece. I have now realized my worth and what I should settle for. Thank you Shalom. God bless you big.

  3. Thank you Shalom. I KNOW my worth now. God bless you for that wonderful message to the world.

    1. Knowing your worth in Jesus is the best thing ever and I'm super elated that you now know it. God bless you more Felix.

  4. Wow! Awesome piece! Lovely! I've grabbed quite a good number of lessons from this.

  5. Wow! Awesome piece! Lovely! I've grabbed quite a good number of lessons from this.

    1. Thank you very much Francis. Praise God for the lessons.

  6. Always a blessings to many😊😍

  7. Asante for lighting floodlights on a darkness that is haunting believers

    1. Only through His guidance. Thank you for stopping by.

  8. So should I keep my response to the texts or just throw something on in here?

    The Spirit of the Lord is on you,
    because the Lord has anointed you to preach the good news to the poor,
    to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom of the captives
    and release from darkness for the prisoners
    to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor
    and the day of vengeance of our God
    to comfort all who mourn
    and provide for all those who grieve in Zion
    to bestow on them a crown of beauty
    instead of ashes
    the oil of gladness
    instead of mourning
    and a garment of praise
    instead of a spirit of despair
    They will be called oaks of righteousness
    a planting for the Lord
    for the display of splendor.
    Isaiah 60:1-3

    Beloved Njeri, this is the impact that your testimony will have on all the people who come into contact with your ministry.

    1. My sweet preacher girl. Thankyou so much for the prophecy upon my life. You are a powerhouse for the Kingdom and together as each others Aaron and Jonathan, we will do exploits. Thank you for always blessing my life and supporting this ministry❤❤❤

  9. I honestly love the way you delivered the message had to pose several times to let your words sink. All the thoughts are intertwined and rooted in the world of God...the introduction takes us by a swoosh and just by it I could already associate with the post. Keep up the good work and keep spreading God's love to all humanity.

    1. I bless God for your heartfelt comment. Thank you so much! His glory, His story ❤

  10. This comment has been removed by the author.

  11. Wow It's like you were talking directly into my life. These are some really inspirational words. Thank you so much!!

  12. I am always searching online for articles that can help me. There is obviously a lot to know about this. I think you made some good points in Features also. Keep working, great job ! location de voiture casablanca


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